The L.M.Montgomery Method of Friend Sorting

Everyone needs a wonderful variety of friends.  Let L.M. Montgomery help you.

Start by asking, “Anne or Emily?”

Sort friends according to the responses to ensure that you have an adequate collection.

“Hunh?”

Okay, so you’re going to need to elaborate.  “Anne of Green Gables or Emily of New Moon?”

“Hunh?”

Alright, here’s a friend for the Sporty and Useful category:  probably not terribly bookish as a child.  These are the friends who convince you to exercise, engage in social activities, and who know things, like how to get a cat to swallow pills.  You need these friends, especially if you were bookish as a child.

“Oh, um, Anne.  There were more?”

Here’s your Classic Friend.  Solid, dependable, didn’t venture too far beyond the recommended reading.  These are the friends who will absolutely help you get a solid A on that essay.  You need these friends, especially if you tend to drift outside the box and have trouble finding your way back in as needed.

“Definitely Anne.  I didn’t get Emily.”

Ah, you’ve found your Nice Friend.  Sweet, kind, too pure for this world.  These are the friends who glanced at the dark side and said no thank you to the cookies, who genuinely believe in happily ever after.  You need these friends, especially if there are situations in which someone needs to step up and buffer your snark.

“Emily.”

Often accompanied by a look of wild-eyed recognition, the “Emily” response identifies your Hard Core Friend.  Well-read, adventurous, and resentful of the status quo.  These are the friends who will help you hide the body.  You need these friends, especially if you need someone to share their knowledge of pharmaceuticals or weapons or Shady Stuff with no explanation beyond I’m writing a thing.

Other methods of friend sorting, such as the Cat Diaper Evaluation, to be discussed at a later date.